26. Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. (joke-id:2065) 27. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? A1: Take your foot off his head. A2: No. Good! (joke-id:2066) 28. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? A: The bucket. (joke-id:2067) 29. Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. (joke-id:2068) 30. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. (joke-id:2069) 31. Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass. (joke-id:2070) 32. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand (joke-id:2071) 33. Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances. (joke-id:2072) 34. Q. Where can you find a good lawyer? A. In the cemetary (joke-id:2073) 35. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. (joke-id:2074) 36. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night. (joke-id:2075) 37. Q. Why to lawyers wear neckties? A. To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. (joke-id:2076) 38. Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance. (joke-id:2077) 39. Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. A2. It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb. A3. You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb... A4. Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. (joke-id:2078) 40. Q. If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A. It might be your bicycle. (joke-id:2079) 41. Q. What do they call rag doll with a pebble in its mouth? A. cotton rocksucker. (joke-id:2080) 42. What is the best thing about big breasts? What you can't fit in your mouth you can rub your face in! (joke-id:2081) 43. What is the definition of slimey? Two Oysters fucking in a jar of vaseline! (joke-id:2082) 44. Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Paki's couldn't build corner shops! (joke-id:2083) 45. What is the difference between a chicken and a lawyer? A chicken clucks defiance! (joke-id:2084) 46. Why did Prince Andrew need a new tractor? Someone fucked his Fergie! (joke-id:2085) 47. What do you call 6 Lebanese women in a Sauna? Gorillas in the mist. (joke-id:2086) 48. What did one gay morge attendant say to the other gay morge attendant? Do you want to hang around after work and suck on a few coldies? (joke-id:2087) 49. What is better than having a 12 year old? Having two six year olds! (joke-id:2088) 50. What is the smelliest thing in the world? An anchovies cunt. (joke-id:2089) BACK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21   NEXT