201. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. (joke-id:2240) 202. Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass. (joke-id:2241) 203. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances. Q. Where can you find a good lawyer? A. In the cemetary Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night. Q. Why to lawyers wear neckties? A. To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance. Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. (joke-id:2242) 204. Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. (joke-id:2243) 205. Q: How do you save a lawyer from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. (joke-id:2244) 206. Q: What do you do if you run over a lawyer? A: Make another notch on the steering wheel. (joke-id:2245) 207. Q: What`s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? A: A hooker will stop fucking you when you`re dead. (joke-id:2246) 208. Q: Why didn't the doctor (any other misc. profession) pay the rent on his outhouse? A: He didn't like the lawyer living downstairs. (joke-id:2247) 209. Q: How do you know when your pet elephant has been amorous with you? A: Your asshole hurts like all hell and there's a thick creamy paste at the back of your throat. (joke-id:2248) 210. Q: What would you see if you looked up a Somali's asshole? A: Cobwebs! (joke-id:2249) 211. Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get out of bed in the morning? A: Because they don't have balls to scratch. (joke-id:2250) 212. Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: If her ankles swell up when she farts. (joke-id:2251) 213. Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss. (joke-id:2252) 214. Q: What do you get when you cross a gay Eskimo and a black? A: A snowblower that doesn't work. (joke-id:2253) 215. Q: What's the definition of confusion? A: 20 lesbians at a fish market. (joke-id:2254) 216. Q: How can you tell your wife is dead? A: Sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up. (joke-id:2255) 217. Q: How do you kill a Marine? A: Throw a bucket of sand against the wall and tell him to hit the beach. (joke-id:2256) 218. Q: What's the Marine word for helicopter? A: (Point upward) Ungh! Ungnngh! (joke-id:2257) 219. Q: How many Marines does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Lean in close to the listener's face and growl) None! Marines aren't afraid of the dark! (joke-id:2258) 220. Q: What's Black and Brown and would look good on Jeff Kennett? A: A Rottweiller. (joke-id:2259) 221. Q: Why do so many people take an instant dislike to Jeff Kennett? A: Saves Time. (joke-id:2260) 222. Q: What is the difference between recession, depression and recovery ? A: A recession is when your neighbour is out of work A depression is when you are out of work A recvery is when Paul Keating is out of work ! (joke-id:2261) 223. Q: How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? A: Nine Months!!!! (joke-id:2262) 224. Q: What do you call a white man combined with a pedophile? A: A priest! (joke-id:2263) 225. Q: What do you call a five year old boy in a roomfull of white men? A: Jail bait! (joke-id:2264) BACK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21   NEXT